I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
