I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
