Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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