Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
