he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
