i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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