At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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