i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
