but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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