Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just want to make out with him forever
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
