I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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