you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
