i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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