i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
