Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
