is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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