Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
