i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
