Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
