Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
