I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
