It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There are leaves in my underwear?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
