What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
