i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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