I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
