Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
