She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
