she smelled like a LAN party
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
