i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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