chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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