Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
They took my balls.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
