Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
what day is it and did you see me today?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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