im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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