i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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