My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
