My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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