Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize