my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I forget how to act sober
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
