As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
