turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize