Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
