I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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