you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
