You were right. It hurts to walk today.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
