Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
