hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
