Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
