I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
