You made me cry and you don't even care
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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