Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
