your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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