I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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