looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
