just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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