but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have fence marks all over my body
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
