Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
