We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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