how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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