I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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