they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
