Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
