Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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