Do you still have your period?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
