some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
