Can Purell be used as lube?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
