If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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