I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
